as it is now, me and Martin (the other group member) are just writing a more defined treatment for the story, and such. Neither of us are fans of the whole "treatment" thing. Shure, I understand that it is a quick way to read film ideas, but it's also almost a process as comfortable as an electric drill to the skull.
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THE STORY TREATMENT!!!
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SHARK GRIN BOB the hall monitor is walking down a hallway in a residential building. He hears a tinny melody and claps his hands over his ears. After checking a couple doors without success, he enters an apartment and is met by a SMALL GIRL with a MUSIC BOX. Robot remains litter the floor, and the girl is wearing a robot head as a hat.
Shark Grin Bob closes the music box and leaves. As he closes the door behind him, he hears the music box again. He returns into the room and stomps on the music box, breaking it. He snarls at the girl and leaves.
The girl picks up the music box and starts repairing it.
CUT TO HALLWAY.
Shark Grin Bob is at the end of the hallway when he hears the music box again. He turns and stomps back, entering the room and slamming the door behind him. He grabs the repaired music box and jumps up and down on it while yelling loudly.
He turns to leave and is skewered by several long black spikes.
CUT TO BLACK.
The music box, now consisting of several body parts plays a melody. The girl wears Shark Grin Bob's skull as a hat and is nodding and smiling to the music.
An eye falls out of the skull, she eats it.
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Other than that, I've gone through some "story analysis" texty thingie, as suggested by Remi (sub teach, nice guy).
? BEGINNING: SETTING-UP THE PREDICAMENT.
What does your lead character want?
Listen to music =^_^=
What do they need?
A music-box :o
What do they have to do to get what they want?
Loot corpses :3
? MIDDLE: CONFLICT - ACTIONS and REACTIONS.
The lead character struggles to get what they want and usually fails at the end of this middle section; however, through failure they begin to understand their true needs.
Main character tries to make music play, despite being thwarted by a monster repeatedly.
? END: FINAL STRUGGLE, RESOLUTION & AFTERMATH .
The emotional ending where the lead character discovers what they really need, whether they get what they wanted or not.
As a final solution, she kills the monster and uses his bodyparts to make a music box (both eliminating its threat of destroying the instruments, as well as creating a new one)
Set-Up, Conflict, Resolution
Screen stories are all about questions and answers - questions and answers.
At the story level you must ask:
? What is my story really about?
Cute, bloody murder
? What do I want to say?
Peekaboo!
? What is the story’s big hook?
? What makes it cinematic (or televisual)?
Its cinematic in the way that it takes the viewer for a ride through a conflict between two very different forces.
? Why is it way better than anything else I’ve seen?
It’s horrible and cute at the same time! =^_^= also, it makes the viewer believe that the monster is the main character of the story, but it’s actually the girl.
? Would I pay to see it?
….maybe
At the character level you must ask:
Complication:
Setup
? Who is my lead character?
The girl.
? What do they want?
To play music
? How can I show what they want?
By playing music, even though the monster clearly hates it
? What do they need to learn about the world or themselves in order to get what they want?
Murder solves conflicts
? How can I demonstrate visually what they need?
By having her repeatedly making music boxes, and having them play the same song.
Increasing Conflict
? Who opposes them?
The monster Shark Grin Bob.
? How do they attack the lead character and expose their weaknesses?
By making the music box stop playing
? Why is the lead character resistant to change, reluctant to confront their
weakness?
Irrelevant
? How does the level of conflict increase?
It gets more and more destructive
? What makes the conflict personal?
She loves music. He hates music.
? Does the conflict become obsessive and force even friends to start deserting the
lead character? (if not it should!)
SHE DOESN’T HAVE ANY FRIENDS! HAHAHAHHAH!.... also, too many characters, that’d be.
? How is the lead character finally forced to confront their weakness and
contemplate internal change?
Story doesn’t tell a tale of change. But she needs more spare parts, so she disassembles him!
Unravelling:
Resolution
? Why does the lead character come back for one last attempt to defeat their
opponent?
She’s out of material to make music boxes
? Do they still want what they did at the beginning, or are they beginning to
understand that they will never win unless they change their goal or their attitude
to life?
She stays the same
? What moral choices that they have to make in the final struggle will finally
externalize their inner struggle between what they want and what they need?
Murder is a means to an end.
? How does the lead character close the divide between what they want and what
they need in the climax and resolution of the movie?
Murder!
The more you write the more you realise that before you write a word of dialogue
1. Introduce your lead character and setting
? Who is s/he and where is s/he? She’s a little, cute girl who sits in a wicked world and listens to her music-box play.
? What is his or her life like? She sits by herself and listens to music
? Who is with him/her? Not a single soul
2. What does s/he want? - The lead character finds out or reveals that s/he
wants something, or discovers s/he has a problem that must be solved.
Shark Grin Bob tries to stop her music box
3. What does s/he need to learn? – The character needs to learn
something to make them a better human being. This is usually similar to what
they want, but crucially different from it. She murders. She’s done it before (shown at the beginning of the film, explained at the end), and it does not seem like she has any compunctions against it.
4. Initial actions - The character then sets out to solve his/her problem or get
what s/he wants. Because they don’t understand that what they want is not
what they need, the lead character finds that instead of getting what they want
they are in a world of trouble. She tries to keep her music box running, even though Bob keeps breaking it.
5. First Major setback - Unfortunately your lead character also needs to
learn something about life and because of this they are about to find
themselves in more trouble than they have ever encountered. The story isn’t long enough to clearly show this part of storytelling.
6. Actions & Set-backs - Because s/he is not aware of what it is s/he really
needs, s/he will usually go about getting what s/he wants the wrong way. This
will bring him/her into conflict with other people (both enemies and friends)
who don’t like what s/he is doing - or the way s/he is going about it. The result
is a series of actions and setbacks throughout the middle of the story. Bob keeps wrecking her music-box. She fixes it, he breaks it. Murder, murder, murder, murder, murder, murder! =^_^=
The girl being the main character is debatable of course, it just feels right in my head.
Today was no fun. Lotsa paperwork stuph needs to be done by next monday. +other stuff, group name, present full idea, logo thingie...
and still need some solution to the whole "not being mandatory (and necessary) number of people" problem.....
I'm not feeling highly motivated right now
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